FAIL-proof Pie Crust

I like making pies. From scratch. Completely. Crust included.

I can just picture some of your reactions right now. Pie crusts are mean. They shrink. They burn. They crack. They taunt you.

Not everyone can be a whiz in the kitchen, but I'm here to help.

This is a tried and true, UNfailed recipe. No butter, means no temperature. Shortening doesn't taste as good as butter, but think how gratifying it will be when you show up at your next party or family gathering, with a pie made completely from scratch. Go ahead, picture the look on everyone's faces.

Ingredients:
      4 cups all-purpose flour, lightly spooned into cup
      1 tablespoon sugar
      2 teaspoons salt
      1 3/4 cup vegetable shortening at room temperature (do not use oil, margarine, lard or butter)
      1/2 cup water
      1 tablespoon white or cider vinegar
      1 large egg

Instructions:
In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar and salt. Cut in shortening until crumbly.

In small bowl, beat water, vinegar and egg. Add to flour mixture and stir until all ingredients are moistened. (I hate the word moist!)

Divide dough into 4 parts. Shape each piece into a round flat patty. Wrap each piece with plastic wrap and chill for 30 minutes. 

Dough will keep in refrigerator for 3 days, or in the freezer for up to a month. Thaw before using.

Lightly flour both sides of the dough patty, and roll out onto a lightly floured surface. Aim for 1/8" thick.

Roll dough onto rolling pin to transfer to pan. Smooth bottom, trim edges, and use fingertips to shape edges.

If you are planning on making a cream pie, dock the bottom (make tiny holes) using a fork to prevent the crust from bubbling up. Bake it at 375°F for 10 minutes. This is called blind baking.

If you are going to make a fruit or something like a pumpkin pie, fill and bake according to recipe.

And there you have it, a fail-proof pie crust to delight your family and friends.

There are bigger FAILS in the sea...

Have you ever felt like, no matter what recipe you try, you are bound to fail? Fear not, you will definitely (well, hopefully) NEVER fail as hard as these people.

Pizza implosion...

Burnt pasta...

Chewy cupcakes...

Eggs in the microwave...

Well done pizza...

Ham and cheddar—goldfish?...



Spaghetti in a coffee pot...

Classic cake decorating...

Pizza explosion...

Hot pasta...

Partially glazed donut...

Electric kettle...

Tennis racket strainer...

Cupcakes?...

And my personal favorite.....metal in the microwave!





Thumper taught me, that if I don't have something nice to say, then I shouldn't say anything at all.

Which is really a rule to live by.

However, I have also heard that a picture is worth a thousand words...so maybe I will just leave you with that.

Waffle Iron Cookies - the UNfail

I wasn't really sure how this one was going to turn out....but I was really hoping it wouldn't make a HUGE mess. Especially since I was using a brand spankin new waffle iron. Along with an ancient (but sturdy) KitchenAid mixer that used to belong to my grandma.

THE EQUIPMENT

I grew up using this mixer, and I like that I still have access to it, as well as my newer (read cheaper) mixer. Hers was that weird almond color that became popular for appliances in the 70s. Mine, well it's just boring old white.

Anyway....

MIXING THE DOUGH. I USED SPEED 2

I weighed out my flour... (4.5 ozs in a cup ... so 3/4 of a cup = 3.375oz) and added the salt and baking soda.

I measured and packed my brown sugar, and added it to the mixer.

Next I added my melted butter, then eggs, one at a time so they were fully incorporated. And I free-poured the vanilla extract...I LOVE vanilla extract.

Then I added the flour salt and baking soda. Don't worry about getting it completely mixed just yet.


Last up, the oats and the chocolate chips. It didn't look so appetizing at this point...

I dropped about 1 1/2 tablespoons onto each section of the waffle iron, shut the top, flipped it 180° and waited.

Sadly, there was no hilarious mess to clean up. I was actually looking forward to this one failing.

That would be an UNfail folks!



The thicker cookie dough is most likely what makes this pin work. Again, for all you pinners out there, make sure you check the page that accompany your pins. There are tons of great ideas out there, just make sure to follow the recipe laid out for you, instead of just winging it.

Waffle Iron Cookies

I love chocolate chip cookies. A lot of people love MY chocolate chip cookies. 

Honestly, who could blame them? After making little changes here and there (more sugar, less chocolate, more flour, and a "secret" ingredient), they have been called "the best cookies in the world" by former employers as well as friends and family members.

The only problem I have with my recipe is it makes a MINIMUM of 5 dozen cookies. And if I make 5 dozen cookies--well, I eat AT LEAST a dozen. Did I mention these are *not* healthy cookies by any definition.

The key is moderation....and that's where the waffle iron comes in to play.

Oatmeal-Chocolate Chip Waffle Cookies

Yield: 24 cookies

Ingredients:
     1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
     1/2 cup + 2 Tbs. packed brown sugar
     2 large eggs
     1 tsp. vanilla extract
     3/4 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
     1/2 tsp. baking soda
     1/4 tsp. salt
     1-1/2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
     1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
     Nonstick cooking spray




**Tip: For the best results, measure your flour by weight instead of volume. (1 cup of all-purpose flour equals 4-1/2 oz.) If you don’t have a scale, be sure to fluff up your flour, then loosely fill up your cup.

Instructions:
Heat the waffle iron according to the manufacturer's instructions.

In a large bowl, whisk the butter and brown sugar until smooth. Whisk in the eggs and vanilla. Stir in the flour, baking soda, and salt. Stir in the oats and chocolate chips.

Coat the grids of the waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray. Use a tablespoon or small ice cream scoop to portion out a cookie onto each waffle square. Close the iron and cook until set and beginning to brown, 1-1/2 to 3 minutes, depending on the heat of your waffle iron. Use a thin metal spatula to transfer the cooked cookies to a wire rack and repeat with the remaining dough, coating the grids with spray as necessary.

The original pinterest pin (again) uses a specific recipe....which could be why this doesn't work out in a lot of cases.

People see the picture and the caption "best idea ever: bake cookies w/ a waffle iron: chocolate chip cookies in 90 seconds.. definitely need to try this." and use whatever recipe they choose.

Stay tuned for the UNfail...

Cupcake Wednesday

This is one of my favorite Chocolate Cupcake recipes. I have made them a few times for myself and this last summer I made a ton of them for a friends wedding (along with some white sour cream cakes, and some mini red velvets).

FUN FACT: Sour Cream is the #2 Condiment in the United States, following ketchup.

Chocolate Sour Cream Cupcakes
Yield: 12 Cupcakes

Ingredients:
     1/2 cup boiling water
     1/4 cup butter
     1 cup granulated sugar
     1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
     1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
     1/2 teaspoon salt
     1/2 teaspoon baking powder
     1/2 teaspoon soda
     1 egg, beaten
     1/2 cup sour cream
     1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions:
Line about 12 muffin cups with cupcake papers. In a mixing bowl, combine boiling water, butter, granulated sugar, and cocoa powder. Beat on low speed until smooth and sugar is dissolved.
In another bowl or on a sheet of wax paper, combine the flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda.
In a small bowl, whisk together the egg, sour cream, and vanilla. Add sifted dry ingredients to the cocoa mixture alternately with the egg and sour cream mixture.
Fill greased and lightly floured cupcake cups about two-thirds full.
Bake at 350° for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cupcake comes out clean. Cool in the pan for 5 to 10 minutes. Remove from the pan and cool completely before frosting.

SOME OF THE CUPCAKES FROM THE WEDDING

Chocolate Sour Cream Frosting
Yield: Enough to frost 24 cupcakes

Ingredients:
     1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
     1/4 cup butter
     1/2 cup sour cream
     1 teaspoon vanilla
     1/4 teaspoon salt
     2 1/2 to 2 3/4 cups sifted confectioners' sugar

Instructions:
Melt chocolate chips with butter in top of double boiler over hot water. Remove from hot water; stir in sour cream, vanilla, and salt. Slowly beat in confectioners' sugar until desired spreading consistency is reached.

Rainbow Cake in a Jar - the UNfail

Okay, I'll admit it...I really procrastinated making this post. Why? No idea, I mean, how difficult can it be to layer cake in a jar? Well if you have OCD like I do, it's no cake walk.

Oh, and to make things even better, this will not be a "rainbow" cake, it will be a red/green/purple cake, because one of my four-legged family members insists on carrying my gel colors around in their mouth, and then I never see them again.

First step....CLEAN mason jars.

I mixed up my cake mix according to the directions on the box and divided it into 3 bowls.

CAKE MIX AND LAYERS

Then I added coloring to each (there is more green so I could separate the layers).

Next, I layered it into my jars (green, purple, green, pink, green), trying to level out each layer by tapping the jar on the counter. That didn't seem to work out so well =(

Once my jars were about 3/4 full (and I was out of cake batter) I placed them in a baking dish and added about 1/2" of water, and popped them in a 350°F oven for 35 minutes.


When the timer went off, I checked them with a skewer, and they weren't quite done, so I gave them another 6 minutes. When the timer went off again, I removed them from the oven and the water bath, and let them cool. The cake shrunk a bit while it was cooling, and I was curious so I decided to dump one out.

THE FINISHED PRODUCT

The cake did grow above the jars, so next time I think I would use a 4th jar, and only fill them halfway.

After they were completely cooled, I leveled the top and added a little bit of frosting and A LOT of sprinkles.

(UN?)fortunately, I am not eating cake right now, so I used my boyfriend as a guinea pig, he proceeded to eat the contents of the jar in one sitting.



My cakes were fully baked, and they did not ooze all over the outside of the jars or the oven, so I'm going to go ahead and call this an UNfail.

Rainbow Cake in a Jar

A lot of my facebook friends have been pinning this lately. 
























  

Ingredients:
     1 box white cake mix (and eggs/oil called for)
     Neon food coloring in pink, yellow, green, turquoise and purple
     3 one-pint canning jars
     Rainbow sprinkles

Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350°F. Thoroughly wash and dry the inside of each jar, Spray with nonstick spray and set aside.

Scoop about 1/2 cup of cake batter into five small bowls (don't worry about making it perfectly even). Tint each bowl of cake batter with food coloring until it is vibrant (or your desired color).

Spoon about 3 tablespoons of purple batter into the bottom of each jar. Spoon equal amounts of remaining colors. Place jars in a shallow baking dish, and add about 1/4" of water (creating a wet bath). Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean.

Allow jars to cool completely before scooping a small portion from the top and adding frosting. Sprinkle & serve, or cover with a lid and store in the refrigerator or pop in the mail & surprise someone you love. 

Sounds easy enough....

Haha...maybe not.

I'm thinking this is one of the newer pins going around, I haven't seen a whole lot of "nailed it!" posts, but the ones that I have found are pretty entertaining!

Stay tuned for the UNfail...

Cookie Cups - the UNfail

It's unFail day here in the kitchen.

I decided I'm going to try both chocolate chip cookie cups and the sugar cookie cups.
My guess is the chocolate chip will fail, as they are usually a drop cookie (they spread as they bake), and the sugar cookie cups...well Wilton made them work, so why can't I?

I skipped the dough mixing process, I figure you all can figure that one out. I used a basic chocolate chip recipe and the sugar cookie recipe from my last post.
Note: The kitchen I was working in has a flat top stove, so I just used it as a work station.

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE CUPS

ROLLED OUT, MOLDED, AFTER 9 MINUTES IN THE OVEN

First I rolled the dough to about 1/8" thick (sorry chef's, no rulers in my kitchen).

I did this using a sheet of wax paper.

Then I had my "helper" (aka mom) spray the outside of the cup with nonstick spray.

Next I took the cookie dough and laid it across the top of the cupcake pan, smoothing out and down the cup.

I trimmed the edges using a butter knife, and popped the whole tray in the freezer for 5 minutes.

5 MINUTES IN THE OVEN, TRIMMED AND COOLED, NAILED IT!

I put it in the oven (with a cookie sheet underneath just in case) at 350°F for 9 minutes to start with.

Good thing I put that cookie sheet down there, it melted down quite a bit. 

When the timer went off, it didn't look done to me, so I put it back in for another 3 minutes. 

When I took it out, I trimmed the edges again, let it cool, and tried to remove the cookie from the mold. 

FAIL. 

I'm not sure if it was the dough, or lack of nonstick spray, but the chocolate chip was a bust.

In keeping with pinterest fail tradition, I added the "NAILED IT!" text to my photo.

Thankfully the sugar cookie cups were much more successful.

SUGAR COOKIE CUPS

IGNORE THE CHOCOLATE MESS ON THAT COOKIE SHEET

After mixing the dough I put it in the freezer for about 20 minutes to chill.

Next I used a lightly floured surface to roll it out to 1/8" thick.

I sprayed the cupcake tins with nonstick spray myself this time (probably overdid it a bit trying to make sure the cups didn't stick).

Again, I laid the dough on the top of the mold, and smoothed/pressed it into place. 

I trimmed the dough around the bottom, and popped the whole tray in the freezer for 5 minutes.

COOKIE CUP + STRAWBERRIES + WHIPPED CREAM = YUM

I removed the tray from the freezer and put it in the oven at 350°F for 11 minutes.

These melted down somewhat, but did not drip like the chocolate chip.

When the timer went off I took them out, I trimmed the edges again and let it cool for 10 minutes.

Then I tried to remove the cookie from the mold.




SUCCESS!
I'm not sure if it was the extra nonstick spray, or the fact that sugar cookies don't usually spread as much as chocolate chip cookies do, but as far as the cookie cups go, I am calling this an UNfail.

Cookie Cups

So, it's 2am and you're wide awake. You log in to your Pinterest account and start pinning everything that looks interesting. The weekend rolls around, and you pick a post to try. It's a great idea, it should be super easy to make.

Introducing.....The COOKIE CUP!

If you click on the pin, it takes you to the Wilton website, where it shows that these are actually sugar cookies, not chocolate chip. I don't know about you, but all the fails I have seen are using chocolate chip dough.

Ingredients:

     2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
     1 teaspoon salt
     1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
     1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
     1 egg
     1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
     1/2 teaspoon No Color Almond Extract

Makes 12 bowls.

Instructions:

Step 1

Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray the outside of each cup with nonstick spray.
Step 2
In a medium bowl, combine flour and salt. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar. Beat in egg and extracts. Gradually add flour mixture to butter mixture
Step 3
Roll out dough on a generously-floured surface to 1/8" thickness. Cut 4.5" circles from the dough. Drape one circle over each cup, pressing to smooth surface.
Step 4
Bake 11-13 minutes or until cookie bowls are firm and golden brown. Cool on pan on cooling rack for 10 minutes. Loosen bottom edges of cookies from pan using small spatula. Carefully remove cups from pan and cool completely. Wash, dry and spray pan; repeat with remaining dough.

Sounds easy enough, right?

Maybe not...Stay tuned for the UNfail!